Proverbs 11:16-17 A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth.
Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.
Do you remember learning how to get dressed in the morning? Neither do I. I know it happened because I have been getting dressed, well, for as long as I can remember. There are many things we do every day that we’ve learned how to do so well that we do them automatically without thinking about it.
The transition from learning how to do a thing into it becoming second nature is called conditioning. It’s the deepest level of learning. That process accounts for a great deal of our behavior, even though we don’t remember learning how to act a certain way. This message is about the act of kindness. It’s something that can sometimes be difficult because of other learned behaviors.
When we read in the bible or hear a preacher say that we should be kind to everyone, even our enemy, that goes against “second nature” behavior for most of us (Romans 12:18-21). Kindness is the most common way that we can express God’s love, so we really ought to do it. But let’s face it. Some people just don’t deserve kindness.
That neighbor with the barking dog who always blares horrible music. That person you dread to see coming your way at work, because they’re always upset about politics and are never happy until you are upset about it, too. Do people who make us angry or miserable deserve our kindness? Well, the answer to that question is a resounding no, they don’t.
The problem is that being a Christian, saved by grace, has absolutely nothing to do with people getting what they deserve. If we got what we deserved, Christ would have never come here to be our substitute on that cross. God would have just paved an express lane to hell and said, “Here’s what you people deserve, I’ve had enough of your drama.”
Thankfully, God doesn’t work that way. He tells us that we shouldn’t be that way either, that we should be like Him. Which brings us back to the problem. Why should we be kind in a world where it seems to be seldom practiced or deserved?
Modern science offers some reasons. Psychologists tell us that studies have shown that performing acts of kindness release endorphins that promote feelings of happiness and well-being. In addition, acts of kindness can improve one's mental health, lower stress levels, and reduce anxiety. I wonder if they know that those study results contain information that is more than 2000 years old?
Many passages in the Bible emphasize the importance of kindness and encourage us to practice it towards others as an expression of our love and gratitude towards God. The book of Proverbs is full of the benefits of kindness (Prov 11:16-17, Prov 12:25, Prov 12:18). In his letters to the early churches the apostle Paul tells us that we should put on kindness and wear it like clothing (Col 3:10-14). He also tells us that kindness shows evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in us (Gal 5:22-25).
Those are all big, important reasons to be kind to others, right? Then why is it so hard sometimes? Answer – because contrary to what the psychologists tell us; kindness is not an inherent part of human nature. By our nature kindness is often situational, selective and always optional.
Kindness is a choice that we must consciously make many times every day. And deep down, we know that the more we live in accordance with how God tells us to live, the better we feel about ourselves and our lives. So, what can we do to make kindness our default? Let’s explore a few possibilities.
First, remember that kindness doesn't need to involve a grand gesture or a significant amount of time or money. Small acts of kindness, such as holding the door open for someone, offering a listening ear, or giving a sincere compliment, can wake up those happy endorphins that encourage us to be kind.
Not only does kindness make us feel good, but a small act of kindness can have a significant impact on someone else's day. Kindness can have a ripple effect, spreading to others and creating a positive impact beyond the initial act. When someone receives or sees an act of kindness, it can inspire them to perform their own acts of kindness.
You just never know when that one little act of kindness might create a chain reaction, especially if you are doing it out of your love for God and desire to please Him. Maybe kindness needs to be grown like plants, starting with small seeds and nurturing them into a big thriving garden of good.
Second, we might want to start thinking about kindness as more than just an act or a behavior towards others. In the last few years, I’ve read a couple of really good books on the traditional spiritual disciplines of the Christian faith. Both of those books included worship as one discipline or practice that Christians observe.
The writers explored many things we can do as acts of worship, including being kind to others as a form of worshiping God. One pastor even went as far as to say that kindness towards others is the greatest act of righteousness we can practice. That changes the perspective, doesn’t it? What if we can discover a new way to worship God and share His presence in the world through kindness?
It took me a while to envision how that might work. So, you hold the door for someone, they say thank you and you smile and think to yourself, no problem, I was just worshipping God. That’s bound to put the kind of smile on your face that makes people wonder what you’re up to.
As Christians living in the 21st century we often find ourselves surrounded by negativity and divisiveness that pulls at us against how our Lord teaches us to treat each other. Maybe that old saying applies – the best defense is a good offense. Maybe if we fight against the world’s influence by how we treat the people we interact with every day, our acts of kindness can be a force for greater good.
If we practice kindness as an act of worship, people may start to wonder. But instead of wondering “What’s wrong with that person?” as is so often what people wonder about others today, they might be wondering what’s right with us, what we’ve got that they could use a little bit of in their life. Do you know what they call it when a Christian makes people wonder about things like that? I call it giving a strong, silent witness of your faith (1 Peter 3:15-16).
Earlier in this message we asked a question: why should we be kind? Well, let’s see now. There’s happiness, lower stress, less anxiety and overall, well-being. It’s a fruit of the Holy Spirit; it’s a form of worshiping and witnessing our faith. Seems like those all reflect God’s will for our lives. There seem to be a bunch of good reasons to give kindness a try. But what about all those worldly learned behaviors, habits that make kindness so hard sometimes? How do we overcome them?
Paul gives us a bold answer: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24). You never know, once you “put on” kindness as part of your new style you might not believe how well it fits and how good it feels going around dressed up like a Christian in this troubled world.
(Biblical Thoughts on Kindness)
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