Death is your Destiny
- Rita Egolf
- 21 hours ago
- 5 min read
Ecclesiastes 7:4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
For the third time in five months, I found myself at the bedside of a dying family member. Yet again, I watched the regimented push of morphine and changing respiratory patterns that led to the death rattle. Apneas increased and lengthened, extra morphine was pushed, and that final breath—ready or not, it came. She went to her Father’s house on Father’s Day.
My precious Granny was 86. Spoon-feeding her those final bites on earth felt so inadequate when I thought of all the ways she had fed me in my lifetime. Holding her cold, clammy hand on her deathbed could never match all the ways her hands had tenderly held me and my children. I felt helpless to provide the comfort and peace I longed to give her. She had lived a long life, but death still felt like an armed intruder.
Death will always be an enemy in this life. But, to the one who will listen, death is perhaps the best teacher there is. The author of Ecclesiastes tells us this when he says, ”the day of death is better than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind and the living will lay it to heart” (7:1-2).
What can we learn from death and how can we pursue its instruction? Consider a few (of the many) lessons death brings and the ways we can intentionally let death instruct our hearts.
Death’s Instruction
Death reminds us we are mortal. Our default mode as humans is to deny our mortality. The ‘house of mourning’ (Eccl. 7:2,4) reminds us that death is inescapable. One day ours will be the corpse in the casket. We gain a heart of wisdom when we learn to number our days (Ps. 90:12).
Death instructs us in how to live out those numbered days. Death teaches us to see the cares of this world for what they are: fleeting and insignificant. Death increases the depth and intentionality of our thoughts and words, and it sharpens our focus on relationships—first with God, but also with the image bearers in our lives. No one on her deathbed regrets having invested in people, particularly those who live under her own roof.
Death strips us of any façade of control. Not only do we not control the time of death, but the active dying process is also varied and unknown. Just as no two birth stories are alike, no two death stories are alike. God designs and carries out each of them from start to finish.
Death is an opportunity to learn how “the end of a thing” is better than its beginning (Eccl. 7:8). The beginning of life is full of wonder. A newborn baby oozes hope and potential. But at death we know and can testify to far more about a person than her given name, weight, length, and Apgar score. We can testify to her character and to God’s faithful work in the life of a son or daughter of the covenant!
Death’s Classroom
Death is a teacher. It’s not the beloved, sought-after teacher whose class always has a waitlist, but rather the stern one whose class you endure and later look back on with appreciation. Today, you don’t have to be facing a terminal diagnosis to become its pupil.
How can you enter death’s classroom? Let me suggest three ways:
First, attend funerals. Funerals are an opportunity to consider what really matters in life. You’ll not just ponder what is said about the deceased, but perhaps you’ll consider what might be said about you one day.
Second, spend time with the sick and the aging. Youth and seasons of healthfulness can be false teachers, telling us they will last forever. Spending time with people whose lives are dependent upon pills, assistive devices, and medical appointments tells us the truth: the mortality rate is 100%. No one gets a pass.
And finally, mourn with those who mourn. Ask the grieving what their grief is like that day or week and provide comfort through your words and deeds. Deliver a meal. Write a note. Share a memory of the loved one that passed. Be open arms to cry in. Help caregivers and executors with overwhelming to-do lists. Embrace that no two people experience grief in the same way and there is no timetable for it.
Death is Your Destiny
Don’t be like the fool, who lives in denial of death. Death can instruct you, but the fool runs from its reality (Eccl.7:4). A wondrous day came when the baby Jesus was born in Bethlehem. But an even greater day came when He was lifted up in order to cry, “It is finished!” Calvary was better than Bethlehem. And it is in this that we can hope when death comes knocking on our own door. Jesus’ death means bodily decay is not final, for He is the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Him, though she die, yet shall she live (Jn. 11:25).
Death is your destiny—but it’s only the beginning.
Further Reading
Three Paths, One Life: How Will You Finish? / Biblical Womanhood
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 Corinthians 5:1
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.
Very sensitively written but nonetheless so informative for each one of us on our earthly journey!