1Thessalonians 4:4-5 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Romantic love can prove deadly. Though western society views our internal longing for sexual fulfillment as the ultimate expression of meaning, the Bible portrays humanity’s unredeemed passion for sex outside of marriage as disordered and broken. When teaching the Thessalonians how to construct a stable church culture, the apostle Paul encourages them to restrain their romantic impulses. He writes, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).” In other words, Paul tells men and women not to follow their hearts but to resist their urges towards free sexual expression. Sex apart from the biblical defined covenant of marriage leads to death and judgment.
Real Emotions
In calling for abstinence, Paul denies neither the existence nor the power of sexual urges. Living in a society dominated by sexually explicit art, Paul understands the relief that a man could find in porn, the excitement that an adulterous woman felt as she flirted with someone not her husband, and the sense of security that the homosexual experienced as he watched another man take romantic interest in him. Paul does not question the reality nor the strength of these feelings but rather their goodness.
Disordered Emotions
Though many westerners cannot imagine that their sexual imaginations and those of their friends could be broken, disordered, and harmful, the Scriptures asserts such a reality. As Paul notes in 1 Thessalonians 4:4, those who conduct themselves in accordance with their passions, “do not know God.” Because Adam rebelled against God, eating the forbidden fruit, men and women have inherited not a disposition to goodness but corruption from their forefathers. Everything humanity undertakes from sex, to politics, to the maintenance of the lawn is marred by selfishness, greed, and anger. Not even the most successful among us can deny that the human experience depends upon therapists, oversight offices, and experts that can “fix things.”
Lest one think the idea of original sin unique to Paul, Jesus too proclaimed that evil comes not from resisting ones natural inclinations but from surrendering to them. He notes that, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person (Mk. 7:21-23).” To follow one’s heart is to follow a path that leads one to sin and in-time to death, and judgement. When we follow our unrestrained sexual passions, we not only harm our own soul pushing our souls further from God’s righteousness, we also harm those that we bring into our sexual fantasies, pushing them further into the darkness of their hearts. And just as we long for human courts to hold those who steal from us accountable for their sins, God must hold us accountable for our sexual expressions outside of marriage for they violate God’s righteousness and harm our neighbor.
More Than Heterosexual Bias
Many westerners will object to such language as being nothing more than the intolerant biases of those who find sexual joy in heterosexual marriage and then seek to prevent all others from sharing in that joy. Were sex and sexual expression the height of human fulfillment, this complaint might have merit. But according to the Scriptures, the goal of humanity is not sexual union but union with Jesus.
The saving hope which enables us to escape and overcome our baser desires and achieve authentic relationship with both God and our neighbor is not found in the marriage bed but in Jesus’s arms. Without question faith in Jesus’s death, burial and resurrection will produce more ordered and more enjoyable marital sex. God designed sex to be enjoyed for his glory. But the telos of our faith is not sex but complete and perfect union with Christ…to go from seeing through a glass darkly to experiencing perfect communion with our savior free from all the disruptions of our broken bodies and souls. While marriage and all its sexual joys proves one of God’s primary means of preparing souls for heaven as the institution furthers both the creation mandate and the great commission, it is not the exclusive means of heavenly preparation.
As Jesus before us, Christians can glorify God apart from marriage and sex. Isaiah told the faithful eunuchs or the perpetual virgins of his day that God would give them “a monument and a name better than sons and daughters…an everlasting name that shall not be cut off (Isa 56:5).” Similarly, Paul praises the benefits of singleness or sexlessness writing, “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better (1 Cor 7:38).” Sex will end. Marriage will end. Our relationship with the Lord will last forever. As the catechism says, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” To trade the joy of Jesus for the joy of sex is to trade satisfaction for want.
Conclusion
Though our bent towards sexual expression outside of marriage often feels inevitable and right, it does not have surrender to. Those who trust in Jesus can overcome the temptation to sexual sin because Jesus who lives within them has conquered sin and death. Just as Jesus resisted Satan, so we too can resist the urge towards masturbation, pornography, adultery, and homosexuality. Jesus is alive!
And if embrace those disorder passions, we will not find life but death. Like Eve before us, those who sin sexually declare God to be a liar, believing that true joy exists outside of the goodness of God. And like Eve before them, they will discover that nothing other than God, not even sex, can satisfy the soul nor provide an escape from God’s judgement. As Paul notes in 1 Thessalonians 4:8, “Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God.” Those who follow their hearts will ultimately lose their souls. The Lord alone can give life!
(The Danger of Disordered Romance)
Article by: Peter Witkowski / Witkowski Blog
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